


99 bottles of beer

by applepieeeee



Category: DCU (Comics), The Hitman's Bodyguard (2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe, DC Comics Rebirth, F/M, M/M, Multi, New 52, To Be Continued, somehow out of control...
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-29
Updated: 2017-08-29
Packaged: 2018-12-21 09:11:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11940954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/applepieeeee/pseuds/applepieeeee
Summary: Bruce=MichaelHal=Kincaid





	99 bottles of beer

Bruce Wayne is a triple A rated executive protection agent, a Mr. perfect who always works according to plan with a backup plan and with a backup plan, until his client was killed and fucked up his career. He ended up protecting psychopaths(“That dude said if I don't answer his "riddle" he's not gonna move...That is not even a riddle!” You can't imagine how creative Bruce can get when he gets angry.) and barely earn a living. He’s never had a setback before in his entire perfect life, and he’s confident that his brain is one of the world’s brightest, yet he just couldn’t figure out why this shit happened.

Terrorist Ra’s al Ghul is put on trial for his crimes, ecoterrorism and blah blah. Related parties flooded the court with witnesses, but they are all rejected, denied or killed. The prosecution’s last hope is the notorious hitman Hal ‘Highball’ Jordan, who agrees to testify in exchange for his girlfriend Carol Ferris’ freedom, who’s being held in Stryker’s Island for no reasons(well this reason is Hal obviously).

Dick Grayson is assigned to lead the mission of escorting Hal Jordan to Metropolis Court, but they are being ambushed by League of Assassins on the way there. Hal beat the shit out of them, and fled with an injured leg, which took a bullet for his ego. Dick had no choice but gets Hal to a safe house nearby, and called the last person on the world he would ask help from, Bruce Wayne.

 

 

“99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer.  
Take one down and pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall…”

“Jesus Christ hold on a second Are you singing a beer song to your girlfriend seriously how do you even have a girlfriend NO DON’T you hang my phone STOP LAUGHING just sew up your leg I DON’T CARE just… come here PLEASE?”  
  
  


Bruce comes to the safe house anyway(after several… maybe more languages that are worse than vowel languages).

 

So Bruce met this rookie cop Dick Grayson few years ago, kind of had a relationship, well not very official. Since Bruce is those rich playboy and Dick is a good young man who you can barely met one on the streets these days. Simply said, two people who come from different worlds. Bruce might has those wrong thoughts about a poor hard-working young man, and Dick might as well feels insecure or so. Besides, Bruce has this serious trusting issues, which normal people call this “being a dick”(not Dick Grayson), and Dick(as Dick Grayson) is like an opposite of Bruce, caring and embraces all of Bruce’s goods and bads… embraced.

Anyway, even people around who eat popcorns can clearly see that they love each other. And as all these bystanders know, they had a big fight and they sworn never to see each other again. That time Bruce just learned to trust others, and was starting this new practice with Dick, then his client got a bullet clean through his skull not even with a boom.

 

And here they are, trying to kill each other before Hal joins and trying to kill each other with Bruce.

 

“DAMN YOU!”

 

 

 

Dick leaves the house with a middle finger, slams the door but stops it before it creates a loud bang, and closes it politely and silently instead.

 

And this was moments before Hal passes out because of blood loss.

 

 


End file.
